Thursday, March 24, 2011


She's six years old. Short, wavy, white blond hair that moves when she prances, she's all girl. Her favorite thing to wear in a flowing princess dress. She loves unicorns. Her name is Carly, we call her The Goose. She needs a new nickname because as of tonight, she'll kick your ass.

With all the talk of me being a robot, I must be the business model, because my little Goose is the killer, The Terminator. For years we thought she'd be a a cheerleader, a dancer, a singer, because she's prissy and artistic. She sings and dances to everything. Goose is like a Glee episode, but not as annoying. The past two weeks, I've seen another side. She's a karate chopping, steely eyed, martial art machine.

Bobina had to work, so I took Tay the teenager and Goose to her taekwondo class. It was her second time. Last week was a one on one session and she did well, but she was getting used to the class and the teacher. Tonight, she turned herself into an unstoppable force of intense blondness. Halfway through the one hour session, her instructor decided to let her try ax kicking boards. On her first attempt, a piece of plywood that I swear was, oh, I don;t know, 3 feet thick, was placed in front of her and she splintered it on the first try.

I am starting to think I am putting together a cyborg army of soul crushing little girls. Tay is slaying cheerleading tryouts this week, Bug pinned a boy two years older than her with a jujitsu move tonight, and Carly kicked and chopped and yelled her way into taekwondo nirvana. The deal here is, I don't have to worry as much as you other dads and moms about my girls taking care of themselves when I'm not around. Also, with the right code word or computer programming, I can unleash the three of them on you for negative comments and general tomfoolery. Maybe I'm kidding.

She had so much fun. The smile afterwards was undeniable. But while it was going on, she was dead serious and awesome. I'm proud of her for finding something she likes.

Family Portrait/What We Really Look Like:

Today's song is a great one by Heart. Maybe we should call my little Goose, Barracuda, because of her new found toughness....enjoy this riff, and Ann Wilson's voice...ooooo Barracuda


  1. A) awesome song B)great when kids show a real determination at something, isn't it?

  2. Hey Yandie!

    Yes it is. All three of my girls have this in common - when they make up their mind, they do it and do it with all their heart and soul.

  3. I love the family portrait. She definitely gets her looks from you.

  4. Bringing up Riot doing it right!

  5. I personally thank you for breeding the next generation of Kickass Chicks, Lance.~

    You go, girls!

  6. Good for Goose. Martial arts is such a great sport for girls... great for building self-confidence and very empowering.

  7. She's awesome! I can't even open a jar!!


  8. 17 different kinds of awesome.

    I still get goose bumps from the time my boy broke a board. I remember seeing the other kids try it, thinking, "there's no way he does it. He'll pull back, chicken out." Then he freaking does it. I don't think I've ever been prouder.

  9. "Tonight, she turned herself into an unstoppable force of intense blondness..."
    Hahaha! I love it. May have to use that ;). Love me some intense blondness.

  10. show me two other women that can rock like that. Didn't think so. I can crush this song on Guitar Hero...just sayin.

  11. I spent 7 years with my own personal Mr. Miyagi. No shit. Can you say PRIVATE. KOREAN. TKD. MASTER. Oh yes. It was just me and two other guys who learned from him. In my heyday, I was training 3 or 4 hours a day 5 days a week. I can turn Danielson into mince meat with naught but my wicked korean STARE.

  12. thanks for the comments all...she has another class tomorrow. I can;t wait.

    @Aimee - that's sounds bad ass

    @Michael - Yeah, that's the point of the post...seeing our youngest get into something is amazing.

    @Chopper - Ann and Nancy are so underrated.

  13. My oldest tried karate...once...he didn't like to yell? WTF? He does all the time at home. Child number two will be perfect for that. It's a great sport. Especially for females! (My dad was a teacher and a third degree black belt before his stroke.)

  14. you got yourself a badass army...
    complete with a badass themesong

    couldn't you just see them walking three across to the opening riff of Barracuda

    I wouldn't mess with them.