Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Dance

"You Can't Always Get What you Want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need." - The Rolling Stones

I preface everything that follows this sentence with this proclamation; I do not support the idea of girls, especially ones I am responsible for, dating before the age of 16. That's where I stand.

Earlier tonight, my 14 year old daughter, known in this blog as Tay, announced she is planning on asking her friend who is a boy, also 14, to her Homecoming High School dance in October. I immediately did not support her going. Her mom and I, as always, talked at length about it, and decided that dropping her off at the chaperoned event at the school would be ok, but we will sort out all the conditions as the date approaches. For now, at this moment, my daughter thinks I'm an ok person. I know it won't last, especially after the conditions get sorted.

I am brand new at teen parenting. As blogged before, I met Tay at age 12, and she is close to her 15th birthday. I have watched completely change in looks, personality, and attitude. I make so many mistakes with her. To her credit, she is pretty forgiving.

For the uniniated, teenage girls start haphazarding planning their events months in advance. Tay and her newest best gal pal have been talking about dresses, dates, and gossip surrounding homecoming for about 3 weeks. I was under the impression they were going as a group of friends. The friend who is a boy came into the picture this weekend; as a date possibility. I trust Tay. I know I shouldn't, because she's a teenager and teenagers are crazy, but Tay is a great kid. She makes almost perfect grades, tosses her mom and I enough bones of respect for us to keep her breathing, and she's a really good sister to the younger ones. It's not her I'm worried about, it's the friend who is a boy and everyone else. The friend who is a boy is a good kid (like I'm going to pump him up, right?). He and Tay have been "friends" on and off since April. They are doing well as we speak.

The discussion questions are complex, yet intriquing. Did I make the right decision agreeing to let her go? What conditions should be met? Have I cracked Pandora's door so far that I will regret this? Does anyone know where I can get better anxiety drugs?

Feedback would be appreciated. Share you parenting thoughts. Keep the comments as clean as possible. Thinking about the worst only makes me crazier.



  1. He seems to be a good kid. He has spent some time with us for us to get to know. It would be different if we had never met him.

  2. Let her go! Its a controlled situation, you are escorting her there and back and if you feel that uneasy about it, volunteer as a chaprone!

  3. I'd let her go since like Cristal said it is controlled. Almost doesn't count as a real "date" if they can't get in a car together and go somewhere. She might get mad if you offer to chaperon, though.

  4. I say let her go. However, I don't have children of my own, I am speaking as a former teenaged girl.