If you haven't seen Inside The Actor's Studio on the A&E channel; it's hosted by this ironically pompous old actor named James Lipton. He "runs" an offshoot of the original Actor's Studio in New York that Al Pacino, gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman and many other acting heavyweights came from. Lipton sits by a desk with a stack of index cards piled high enough to reach the Earth's atmosphere, and interviews an actor, comedian, or entertainment personality, sometimes associated with the Actor's Studio. The audience is full of acting students, fans, and artist types that make Star Wars nerds seem kind of cool. Sometimes the interviews are revealing, even funny. Kevin Spacey did one where he showed off his talent for impersonations and the hour actually flew by. The point of the whole thing is the unintentional laughter between self absorbed individuals, Lipton and the ham actor, and the fawning of the audience. The bizarro world interplay is strangely intriquing to watch.
The end of the each show, Lipton show off his pretention and predilection for haughty French stuff by asking a series of questions froma questionaire created by Bernard Pivot. This is always the best part of the program because it either reveals the interviewee's perosnality or lack thereof. In my dream, Lipton was interviewing me. I was predictably self involved. I talked too much. I said some things that I probably shouldn't. I was heckled by my wife, kids, and Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. I then did my six impressions: Eddie Vedder, Jon Gruden, Vince Neil, Jack Nicholson, Vin Scully and Al Pacino. Here are my responses to the questionaire:
- What is your favorite word? SUPERFLUOUS
- What is your least favorite word? POOP
- What turns you on? INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION
- What turns you off? SELF-ABSORPTION, not mine, but others
- What sound or noise do you love? BOBINA's LAUGH
- What sound or noise do you hate? BURPING
- What is your favorite curse word? well, James, I don't curse, and neither does my father. when I was a child he would make up words, and I would find that so funny. His best one was "goshamickey!"
- What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? SONGWRITING
- What profession would you not like to do? POLITICS
- If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? - we've been waiting for you. Your grandparents are right over here.