I'll try to describe the worst party I have ever been to. I walk into this huge house, thinking I had written the address incorrectly. This guy who looked like Don Johnson's methed cousin said hello, loudly. I found that I was dressed approriately for the rest of the planet, but not for this place. The place looked like that Animotion video for the song Obsession. Big clothes, big hair, cocaine everywhere; and somebody really liked the Big 80s greatest hits. Cyndi Lauper was playing. The thing is, and apparently I was the only person aware, it was 2006.
*blogger's note* This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 's #100word challenge this week at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ . The one word prompt is Obsession.
Please don't enjoy this song of the day. It's the motif for the entry. Kill me, if I ever play this again.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Ghost In My Machine
I'm different than the rest of you. This is not a good thing. Don't take this as ego, because my proclamation is the opposite of self satisfaction. I promise. I think I'm a good person; as much as I hate admitting it, a nice person. But I'm self destructive. I'm also difficult to the ones who love me. Is this intentional? Everything's somewhat intentional. We say to each other, "that's not what I meant" or "I didn't mean to do this or that". It's a lie. If you are something beyond a simpleton, then your complexity allows for you to be stupid, smart, meaningful, shallow, loving, hateful, understanding, intolerant, artful, and nothing. Where I'm different is, if you cut me open and studied my rings or tissues or hell, probably wires and circuitry with me, then you'd probably find, that I do mean well. I want to be the best and wish for the best for each of you. I love my family deeply and unconditionally. The problem is, I don't allow myself to fail. I don't allow myself to be normal. I know I'm full of crap. I write that a lot. Yet, I don't give myself a break and thus others, especially my wife and kids. I don't get depressed, another sign of my difference from many of you. I do beat myself up; so much so, that it hurts those around me.
When I was a kid, I had a digital alarm clock that displayed numbers like this^
For some reason, I was obsessed with thing. I have one like it in my bedroom now, just to look at. When I was eleven years old, I bought the album by The Police, Ghost in the Machine. It looked like this
It had the song Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. I think that's one of the sweetest, sexiest songs ever written. Bobina likes it too, we should play it more. For years, I never listened to the whole record. I thought the album cover was so awesome, I used to display it in my room near my alarm clock and watch Blade Runner, the Harrison Ford science fiction classic. For me, at that time, I found robot nirvana. I think I just conflicted metaphors in an unholy way. Around age 14 or 15, I finally played the entire album and discovered the song, Demolition Man. For the first time, I identified with my anxiety, my difference. Read these lyrics, and you'll know where my head is at 92.3 percent of the time.
Oh! Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
Tied to the tracks and the train's fast coming
Strapped to the wing with the engine running
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Tied to a chair, and the bomb is ticking
This situation was not of your picking
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
I'm a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation as I walk into the room
I'm a three line whip, I'm the sort of thing they ban
I'm a walking disaster, I'm a demolition man
Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
You come to me like a moth to the flame
It's love you need but I don't play that game
'Cause you could be my greatest fan
But I'm nobody's friend, I'm a demolition man
I'm a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation as I walk into the room
I'm a three line whip, I'm the sort of thing they ban
I'm a walking disaster, I'm a demolition man
Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
Tied to the tracks and the train's fast coming
Strapped to the wing with the engine running
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Tied to a chair, and the bomb is ticking
This situation was not of your picking
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Inside each of us is a type of wiring. Some people are laid back. Others are hyper. Whatever the makeup of any specific person may be, in lies a truth. Most of you know yours. My wife does. I think my teenage daughter knows her. Like a small child or, dare I say, robot, I don't know mine. I'll be happy for while, then completely lose focus and lash out at myself, or those around me. I'm not violent. That's ridiculous. I'm more of a whirling emotional dervish that wants to use the map to get from point A to point B, but then tries to overthink the shortcut that probably doesn't exist. That's my Demolition Man.
If a blog is a personal journal where you reveal yourself, then this is my Emo Declaration of Independence. Being content is the goal of so many. On the surface I have everything I need and want. A beautiful, fun, interesting, unique, and loving family that, despite what I have described, takes me into their hearts, regardless. I handle stress when I have to; work, sick kids, bills that have to be paid, the mundane crises. It's the other stuff, the focus, chi, energy center, I blow completely up. If the devil is in the details, then I'm possessed by one hell of a demon. Instead of New Years Resolutions or self improvement, it may be time to exorcise the Ghost in my Machine.
Today's song is the aforementioned track off the Police album I used as bedroom decor in my teens. I heard it today on some obscure classic rock station. I think they played it by accident. My microchip sensors went haywire and picked it up right away. This is Demolition Man.
For some reason, I was obsessed with thing. I have one like it in my bedroom now, just to look at. When I was eleven years old, I bought the album by The Police, Ghost in the Machine. It looked like this
Oh! Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
Tied to the tracks and the train's fast coming
Strapped to the wing with the engine running
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Tied to a chair, and the bomb is ticking
This situation was not of your picking
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
I'm a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation as I walk into the room
I'm a three line whip, I'm the sort of thing they ban
I'm a walking disaster, I'm a demolition man
Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
You come to me like a moth to the flame
It's love you need but I don't play that game
'Cause you could be my greatest fan
But I'm nobody's friend, I'm a demolition man
I'm a walking nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation as I walk into the room
I'm a three line whip, I'm the sort of thing they ban
I'm a walking disaster, I'm a demolition man
Demolition, demolition
Demolition, demolition
Tied to the tracks and the train's fast coming
Strapped to the wing with the engine running
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Tied to a chair, and the bomb is ticking
This situation was not of your picking
You say that this wasn't in your plan
And don't mess around with the demolition man
Inside each of us is a type of wiring. Some people are laid back. Others are hyper. Whatever the makeup of any specific person may be, in lies a truth. Most of you know yours. My wife does. I think my teenage daughter knows her. Like a small child or, dare I say, robot, I don't know mine. I'll be happy for while, then completely lose focus and lash out at myself, or those around me. I'm not violent. That's ridiculous. I'm more of a whirling emotional dervish that wants to use the map to get from point A to point B, but then tries to overthink the shortcut that probably doesn't exist. That's my Demolition Man.
If a blog is a personal journal where you reveal yourself, then this is my Emo Declaration of Independence. Being content is the goal of so many. On the surface I have everything I need and want. A beautiful, fun, interesting, unique, and loving family that, despite what I have described, takes me into their hearts, regardless. I handle stress when I have to; work, sick kids, bills that have to be paid, the mundane crises. It's the other stuff, the focus, chi, energy center, I blow completely up. If the devil is in the details, then I'm possessed by one hell of a demon. Instead of New Years Resolutions or self improvement, it may be time to exorcise the Ghost in my Machine.
Today's song is the aforementioned track off the Police album I used as bedroom decor in my teens. I heard it today on some obscure classic rock station. I think they played it by accident. My microchip sensors went haywire and picked it up right away. This is Demolition Man.
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Music Lover's Guide to the 2011 Grammys, aka I Love the Way I need A Doctor
That's how the awards show started. It was actually uphill from there. Except for a Justin Bieber career retrospective, which actually ended nicely. Having known everything about him in a five minute span makes it easier to forget him, by tomorrow. I expect to replace my daughters posters by next Tuesday.
As a music lover, and it being Valentine's Day, I wanted to show you part of my heart that didn't include Bobina and my girls. Music is my other love(r). Every year I watch the Grammys. Every year I complain about them. Every few years, I get surprised and actually like some things. There was an Aretha Franklin tribute featuring several people singing back up for my girl Christina Aquilera. Against the wishes of people who actually know better country music was recognized, and Lady Antebellum inexplicably won several awards including record of the year for their version of Starland Vocal Band's 1976 hit Afternoon Delight, called Need You Now. Bottom line message there, every 35 years, someone will say the same thing blandly and get an award they don't deserve for it.
Muse, the Radiohead derivative band with a cool song, Resistance, won for best rock album, besting better records by Pearl Jam and the timeless Jeff Beck. I was mildly disappointed. It's one category I really care about but at least I didn't want to kill the winner. Then things got good.
The biggest rock star on the planet, Marshall Mathers otherwise known as Eminem took over the show. Fresh off his two commercials on the Super Bowl, the Detroit rapper-songwriter, showed why his album Recovery, a brilliantly profane portrait of personal improvement was the best thing anyone recorded in 2010. His collaboration with pop superstar, Rihanna, Love The Way You Lie, which lost it's nominations, was performed. Then after 4 minutes of excellence, Eminem introduced the world to Skylar Grey. The 24 year old songwriting wunderkind who penned parts of Love The Way You Lie, and the next song performed, I Need A Doctor, from Dr. Dre's new album Detox showed the music world something different. A petite brunette full of soul, fire, and talent that stole the whole show from even heavyweights like Dr. Dre and Eminem. She was outstanding, as were they.
Then things got crazy. The major award is Album of the Year. Usually it's awarded to the record that sold the most or was the most popular. The favorites were Eminem's Recovery, Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, and Lady GaGa The Fame Monster. Yet, the French Canadian indie rock band, Arcade Fire pulled off one of the biggest upsets in Grammys history.
Today's song was my favorite performance from last night. Dr. Dre, the superman music producer spent 11 years making his Detox album. The first single is I Need A Doctor, penned by he, Eminem, and the aforementioned soon to be household name Skylar Grey. The rage, muscle, power and honesty put forth in the performance was terrific. Play it loud and proud. Happy Valentine's Day, music lovers.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Another Gear
"I don't want to do this," she said to me, terrified. "Juliet, you have to know how to drive to get your license. You'll be fine, I'm with you," I assured her, with minimum confidence. Her tiny figure sat frozen, white knuckling the steering wheel. "Juliet, put your right foot on the pedal to your left, that engages the break." She glared at me and barked, "Engages? What does that mean? Talk normal!" I smiled, I remembered my fear at 15 years old driving. "Want to go home, sweetheart?" I asked. Juliet relented "No, I'll do it." Now, I was scared.
*bloggers note* - This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 's weekly 100 word challenge at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ . The one word prompt is ENGAGES. My teenage daughter just turned 15 and we are going through the process of her studying for the learner's permit test. She's a little scared to drive. Thanks for reading. Real life usually gives the finest inspiration.
*bloggers note* - This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 's weekly 100 word challenge at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ . The one word prompt is ENGAGES. My teenage daughter just turned 15 and we are going through the process of her studying for the learner's permit test. She's a little scared to drive. Thanks for reading. Real life usually gives the finest inspiration.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Kip Winger Sanchez & Eliza Dotoomuch
I want to make this blog post different. No literary attempt to sound intelligent to draw you into something. I don;t care about sentence structure or even coming across as a wannabe writer.
I LOVE THE NEW YORK JETS. I AM A MARK SANCHEZ FAN.
There, it's in front of everything else. So, three paragraphs later who can't say, dude I went to your twitter page, you're wearing a Jets t-shirt and half your tweets are about the Jets, you're a hypocrite with no credibility for your opinion. Wrong. I'll prove it.
Here's what we think we know. On New Year's Eve, the quarterback of the New York Jets went out. Sometime around 2am he met a blonde named Eliza Kruger, who was 17 and aquired entry into the club with a fake ID. Later in some sort of way, they had dinner at a sushi place, went back to Sanchez's home and, well, were intimate. Kruger posted pictures on her facebook page, allegedly of Sanchez's home. She bragged to friends and family that she had hooked up with Sanchez.
Here's what we do know. Eliza Kruger is the teenage daughter of wealthy financier Chip Kruger. He made over 50 million last year. Eliza brags to friends that her mom takes her clubbing and has been doing so since she was 15. She says she told Sanchez about her age, he replied that they could only be friends, she answers that 17 is legal in New York. Her family has gone public with her identity and their "side of the story". Now the internet is lit up like Christmas, and, as usual, over criticizing the wrong person.
Let's really talk here. No moral outrage and save the righteous indignation. I'm a father. The oldest in my house is 15. To me, she seems like a baby. To others, I have heard she looks 18. They know to say this to her mother, not me, for the fear of me assaulting them. I have seen the high school juniors and seniors in my daughter's school, they look over 18. I fear for them and I am not their father.
Mark Sanchez is the quarterback of a multimillion dollar football team. He has hundreds of media outlets looking at him every day, including the God forsaken, cesspool of sports gossip, that "broke" this story, Deadspin.com. Mark should be more responsible, careful and discretionary. He's 24 years old and even though girls mature quicker than boys, the seven year age gap between he and this alleged encounter is enough for him to know better. I hope his father, mother, agent, best buddy, team owner, and head coach pull him to the side and say this GROW UP MARK, because this can't happen, ever. Then they should introduce him to their single female friends who are age 24 and over.
The girl in the center of this is a real piece of work. If I didn't live with 4 women, have so much respect for them, and value my personal friendships with other females, I would go off on Miss Eliza Kruger. The thing is, she really doesn't know better. Not at age 17 with a dad who is too busy making money to know that she is in a club at 2am on New Year Eve with a fake ID, getting picked up by a 24 year old. The mom, clubbing with her since age 15? Is she trying to overtake Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mom for monster mommy of the decade?
The story here isn't Mark Sanchez dating or getting together with a girl too young for him. The real story, being ignored by members of my own family and friend group on twitter and text, is the failure of these parents. All the money Chip Kruger can make will never pay for the damage caused to his daughter who has no boundaries, no moral compass, and no maturity. She was bragging about being intimate with Mark Sanchez over facebook. I start wanting to throw furniture around my house when my wife tells me my daughter's friend who is a boy tells her " I Love You" over their facebook pages. What must be going through the heads of the parents of this 17 year old girl. Oh wait, they have a lawyer in California and New York looking into legal action, possibly against Sanchez. I think the parents are looking to cover their rear ends and manhole cover the open spots in their bodies where their souls were taken to have their lifestyles.
There is a seven year age difference between my wife and I. I met her when I was 37 and she was 30 at a Chili's near the Mall of Georgia. We both had legal driver's licenses. As much as I love my wife, had I been 24 and she been 17, I wouldn't have given her the time of day. Then again, I'm a robot. I'm the only person who thinks the way I do, because that's how I'm programmed by creator(s).
Mark Sanchez is a good looking, successful, popular, single dude who, at age 24, isn't thinking the way he should be. At that age the only I had in common with him was being single. Now it's time for Mark to be smart. The next time he chooses to go out and approaches someone, he needs to ask for a valid ID, make sure the person the girl is with is not her misguided mother, and get a confidentiality agreement so that the relationship doesn't end up on my wife's timeline on Facebook next to her Farmville updates.
I need to go home tonight and hug my teenager for a long time then lock her in the basement til she's 24
Todays song is too easy to explain. I don't feel good about playing or posting it, but the players in this story don't deserve cleverness or meaningful music. It's Kip Winger's old band, Winger. Just play your bass, Kip and get a girlfriend the proper age. I feel dirty.
I LOVE THE NEW YORK JETS. I AM A MARK SANCHEZ FAN.
There, it's in front of everything else. So, three paragraphs later who can't say, dude I went to your twitter page, you're wearing a Jets t-shirt and half your tweets are about the Jets, you're a hypocrite with no credibility for your opinion. Wrong. I'll prove it.
Here's what we think we know. On New Year's Eve, the quarterback of the New York Jets went out. Sometime around 2am he met a blonde named Eliza Kruger, who was 17 and aquired entry into the club with a fake ID. Later in some sort of way, they had dinner at a sushi place, went back to Sanchez's home and, well, were intimate. Kruger posted pictures on her facebook page, allegedly of Sanchez's home. She bragged to friends and family that she had hooked up with Sanchez.
Here's what we do know. Eliza Kruger is the teenage daughter of wealthy financier Chip Kruger. He made over 50 million last year. Eliza brags to friends that her mom takes her clubbing and has been doing so since she was 15. She says she told Sanchez about her age, he replied that they could only be friends, she answers that 17 is legal in New York. Her family has gone public with her identity and their "side of the story". Now the internet is lit up like Christmas, and, as usual, over criticizing the wrong person.
Let's really talk here. No moral outrage and save the righteous indignation. I'm a father. The oldest in my house is 15. To me, she seems like a baby. To others, I have heard she looks 18. They know to say this to her mother, not me, for the fear of me assaulting them. I have seen the high school juniors and seniors in my daughter's school, they look over 18. I fear for them and I am not their father.
Mark Sanchez is the quarterback of a multimillion dollar football team. He has hundreds of media outlets looking at him every day, including the God forsaken, cesspool of sports gossip, that "broke" this story, Deadspin.com. Mark should be more responsible, careful and discretionary. He's 24 years old and even though girls mature quicker than boys, the seven year age gap between he and this alleged encounter is enough for him to know better. I hope his father, mother, agent, best buddy, team owner, and head coach pull him to the side and say this GROW UP MARK, because this can't happen, ever. Then they should introduce him to their single female friends who are age 24 and over.
The girl in the center of this is a real piece of work. If I didn't live with 4 women, have so much respect for them, and value my personal friendships with other females, I would go off on Miss Eliza Kruger. The thing is, she really doesn't know better. Not at age 17 with a dad who is too busy making money to know that she is in a club at 2am on New Year Eve with a fake ID, getting picked up by a 24 year old. The mom, clubbing with her since age 15? Is she trying to overtake Dina Lohan, Lindsay's mom for monster mommy of the decade?
The story here isn't Mark Sanchez dating or getting together with a girl too young for him. The real story, being ignored by members of my own family and friend group on twitter and text, is the failure of these parents. All the money Chip Kruger can make will never pay for the damage caused to his daughter who has no boundaries, no moral compass, and no maturity. She was bragging about being intimate with Mark Sanchez over facebook. I start wanting to throw furniture around my house when my wife tells me my daughter's friend who is a boy tells her " I Love You" over their facebook pages. What must be going through the heads of the parents of this 17 year old girl. Oh wait, they have a lawyer in California and New York looking into legal action, possibly against Sanchez. I think the parents are looking to cover their rear ends and manhole cover the open spots in their bodies where their souls were taken to have their lifestyles.
There is a seven year age difference between my wife and I. I met her when I was 37 and she was 30 at a Chili's near the Mall of Georgia. We both had legal driver's licenses. As much as I love my wife, had I been 24 and she been 17, I wouldn't have given her the time of day. Then again, I'm a robot. I'm the only person who thinks the way I do, because that's how I'm programmed by creator(s).
Mark Sanchez is a good looking, successful, popular, single dude who, at age 24, isn't thinking the way he should be. At that age the only I had in common with him was being single. Now it's time for Mark to be smart. The next time he chooses to go out and approaches someone, he needs to ask for a valid ID, make sure the person the girl is with is not her misguided mother, and get a confidentiality agreement so that the relationship doesn't end up on my wife's timeline on Facebook next to her Farmville updates.
I need to go home tonight and hug my teenager for a long time then lock her in the basement til she's 24
Todays song is too easy to explain. I don't feel good about playing or posting it, but the players in this story don't deserve cleverness or meaningful music. It's Kip Winger's old band, Winger. Just play your bass, Kip and get a girlfriend the proper age. I feel dirty.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Lord Don't Slow Me Down
If negativity sells, I'm not buying. After a day without water because of a broken hot water heater (that happened at 2am yesterday), I got up today determined to be better. The problem is, I'm on my own.
Last night, while reading friends' blogs, I accidently typed Mr. Destructo instead of Miss Destructo into the search engine and instead of everyone's favorite internet celebrity's bright and cheery blog on social media, Amber's Miss Destructo's Deviations - http://missdestructo.com/ I got, well, the anti Miss Destructo. The Mr. is a pretty narcisstic, negative place run by an anonymous guy who fashions his identity after an African dictator. Yeah, real nice, I thought the same thing. This guy, a few months ago, after accidently finding Amber's blog, decided to type a three page hate letter about her, for no particular reason. I didn't read it. I didn't have to.
I turned on both television and radio last night and this morning. All anyone media related wants to talk about is Christina Aquilera's missinging of the national anthem before the Super Bowl. My Christina "stuff" aside for a few seconds, I mean she's perfect, but I'm trying to be fair, ok, she got nervous, missed a word or six. How many people watching at home and in the stadium know all the words to the National Anthem? How many could sing it in front of 100 large at Cowboys Stadium and a billion people watching at home? That's what I thought. Anyone remember what the media was losing it's mind over the week before 9/11 happened? Jennifer Lopez's scarf dress at an Awards show. The best column I read after the 9/11 attacks addressed that silly JLO fracas and opined that we would be better in the future. Guess that columnist was wrong.
Is it fun to be snarky and ridiculous? Uh, heck yeah, I make a habit of it. The two examples above are extremes, unfortunately, that pass for normal in the internet and other media. The first one; a guy, bored, self loathing, and possibly jealous; went out of his way to tear at someone successful. The second example is just inexcusable. It's Christina. She's amazing, we all know this. Let's move on to the relatable, meaningful part of the blog.
My wife and I try really hard with our three daughters to have a positive household. With jobs, bills, bad weather, crazy schedules, and the fact that 4 women occupy the home at one time, to say it's difficult is selling it really short. One of the things my wife is good at doing is stopping in the middle of a stressful moment when the negativity hits the fan, and saying, "what does this matter? How are we solving the problem?". I get to be married to her.
Sometimes when I read other blogs and there's bitching or venting or mean spiritedness masked as sarcasm, I stop and wonder, "is this person happy they wrote this". I am asking the same thing of the people on television talking more about Christina than Egypt or the economy.
Today's song is from one of my favorite bands, Oasis, and one of my favorite songwriters, Noel Gallagher. Lord, Don't Slow Me Down was in the running for the title of this blog a year ago. I thought My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog was more sarcastic. I'm starting to think I may have picked the wrong one. Noel penned this song after a divorce and marrying his current wife. He rarely wrote happy songs about love and life. He would later say Lord, Don't Me Down is one of his favorites because it reveals so much about him. I agree, Noel, and this song makes me an even bigger fan of yours. Play it loud. It works better that way.
Last night, while reading friends' blogs, I accidently typed Mr. Destructo instead of Miss Destructo into the search engine and instead of everyone's favorite internet celebrity's bright and cheery blog on social media, Amber's Miss Destructo's Deviations - http://missdestructo.com/ I got, well, the anti Miss Destructo. The Mr. is a pretty narcisstic, negative place run by an anonymous guy who fashions his identity after an African dictator. Yeah, real nice, I thought the same thing. This guy, a few months ago, after accidently finding Amber's blog, decided to type a three page hate letter about her, for no particular reason. I didn't read it. I didn't have to.
I turned on both television and radio last night and this morning. All anyone media related wants to talk about is Christina Aquilera's missinging of the national anthem before the Super Bowl. My Christina "stuff" aside for a few seconds, I mean she's perfect, but I'm trying to be fair, ok, she got nervous, missed a word or six. How many people watching at home and in the stadium know all the words to the National Anthem? How many could sing it in front of 100 large at Cowboys Stadium and a billion people watching at home? That's what I thought. Anyone remember what the media was losing it's mind over the week before 9/11 happened? Jennifer Lopez's scarf dress at an Awards show. The best column I read after the 9/11 attacks addressed that silly JLO fracas and opined that we would be better in the future. Guess that columnist was wrong.
Is it fun to be snarky and ridiculous? Uh, heck yeah, I make a habit of it. The two examples above are extremes, unfortunately, that pass for normal in the internet and other media. The first one; a guy, bored, self loathing, and possibly jealous; went out of his way to tear at someone successful. The second example is just inexcusable. It's Christina. She's amazing, we all know this. Let's move on to the relatable, meaningful part of the blog.
My wife and I try really hard with our three daughters to have a positive household. With jobs, bills, bad weather, crazy schedules, and the fact that 4 women occupy the home at one time, to say it's difficult is selling it really short. One of the things my wife is good at doing is stopping in the middle of a stressful moment when the negativity hits the fan, and saying, "what does this matter? How are we solving the problem?". I get to be married to her.
Sometimes when I read other blogs and there's bitching or venting or mean spiritedness masked as sarcasm, I stop and wonder, "is this person happy they wrote this". I am asking the same thing of the people on television talking more about Christina than Egypt or the economy.
Today's song is from one of my favorite bands, Oasis, and one of my favorite songwriters, Noel Gallagher. Lord, Don't Slow Me Down was in the running for the title of this blog a year ago. I thought My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog was more sarcastic. I'm starting to think I may have picked the wrong one. Noel penned this song after a divorce and marrying his current wife. He rarely wrote happy songs about love and life. He would later say Lord, Don't Me Down is one of his favorites because it reveals so much about him. I agree, Noel, and this song makes me an even bigger fan of yours. Play it loud. It works better that way.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Relationship Takes On A Plane
Watching a movie on an airplane is like playing poker. You get delt a bad hand and you are losing regardless of how stupid the dealer may be. A little over a year ago I got all aces in a flight coming back from Cancun with my wife. I won a lot more than money .
Bobina was exhausted. Our delayed honeymoon and first anniversary on November 2009, was a week in Mexico in on the beach, in the streets of Cancun, and around the resort of the Crown Paradise. By the time we came back through customs and started home, I was knee deep into insomnia while Bobina was out for most of the flight. The movie selection on our flight was some romantic comedy and this quirky independent flick I hadn't heard of starring the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun sitcom, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, the weird named, icey eyed brunette who is the sister from the girl on Bones. I didn't have a magazine worth reading so I put on my poker face, and pushed start on 500 Days Of Summer.
I want you to see the movie if you haven't and thus don't want to give away too much of the plot or the surprise emotional results of the actors and the movie making. The jist of what you need to know to explain my blog theme is this; Levitt plays Tom, a greeting card company writer who really wants to be an architect, Deschanel plays Summer, an assistant at the card company that eventually becomes Tom's "perfect" girlfriend. The relationship fails, but how it fails and the hilarious, but poignant aftermath not only make a good movie but also shows how "point of view" especially from only one side of the story can affect a person's personality.
I'm divorced, have a horrible history with not only romantic relationships but friendships as well. Until I met Bobina, I seriously thought I was, like Tom in 500 Days of Summer, a doomed victim of every awful woman, jerk guy, and mixed up human being that ever crossed my path. What I learned, especially from the great relationship I have now with the right person, is it's my point of view and approaches to relationships and friendships was so poorly skewed, I was the problem, not everyone else.
500 Days of Summer bounces back and forth between different days in the tale. On the surface, it appears Tom is this normal guy, victimized by the oddball ice queen, Summer, who doesn't care for Tom like she should. When things go south for Tom and Summer, it's Tom who devolves into funny, but sad depressive behavior of booze, junk food, and emo music. The subsequent turn of events shows Tom, as Summer moves on more maturely, that he idealized Summer. This a mistake so many guys make (and some women, I'm sure).
The idea that anything is perfect, great, amazing or the best is foolish. As much I love my wife and kids, it's their complexity that makes them interesting. Their flaws, like mine, are what should be celebrated not ignored. Unfortunately so many people, especially when they are in the throes of lust or smit or the delusions of being in love they paint the other as perfect. This never works. This idea extends to friendships. The minute you think your friend is beyond reproach, they'll disappoint you and you aren't just broken hearted but disillusioned too.
This happens to Tom. He sees Summer as the perfect woman, which reduces her uniqueness and makes her a stereotype as opposed to a real woman. Both characters are in their early 20s and this is common at that age. Suddenly everything turns into a phase for Tom and Summer as opposed to a relationship. How he gets out of the funk is funny, interesting, and worth every minute on a plane.
I am so fortunate to be in my marriage to Bobina. The best thing we do together is communicate. I see through my friends, especially the younger ones, their trumpet of only the positive aspects of their relationships. This is parallel to the ideas expressed in my Facebook post a couple of days ago. We get too impatient, too selfish, wanting our emotional gratification right now. If there is one thing I can export from my relationships with my wife and kids to any of you, is patience and selflessness are the bread and butter of happiness. Learn to rock those, right now, or you will be like Tom in 500 Days of Summer.
Today's song is one featured in 500 Days of Summer. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths. It's played twice, at two very different places in the film. I recommend the movie, because of it;s unqiue point of view, smart script and the likely idea that after seeing what happens to Tom and Summer, you'll change the way you get along with your significant others, romantic relationships and friendships. Plus, it's The Smiths. Maybe my "good friend", Smiths guitar player Johnny Marr will check this blog post out. Now, that I think about it, when I'm not working on my marriage to Bobina, I need to work on my "friendship" with Johnny.
P.S. I owe the inspiration, partly. for this post, to Leah aka @WalmartGourmet. She was watching 500 Days of Summer. That reminded me of my airplane flight.
Bobina was exhausted. Our delayed honeymoon and first anniversary on November 2009, was a week in Mexico in on the beach, in the streets of Cancun, and around the resort of the Crown Paradise. By the time we came back through customs and started home, I was knee deep into insomnia while Bobina was out for most of the flight. The movie selection on our flight was some romantic comedy and this quirky independent flick I hadn't heard of starring the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun sitcom, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, the weird named, icey eyed brunette who is the sister from the girl on Bones. I didn't have a magazine worth reading so I put on my poker face, and pushed start on 500 Days Of Summer.
I want you to see the movie if you haven't and thus don't want to give away too much of the plot or the surprise emotional results of the actors and the movie making. The jist of what you need to know to explain my blog theme is this; Levitt plays Tom, a greeting card company writer who really wants to be an architect, Deschanel plays Summer, an assistant at the card company that eventually becomes Tom's "perfect" girlfriend. The relationship fails, but how it fails and the hilarious, but poignant aftermath not only make a good movie but also shows how "point of view" especially from only one side of the story can affect a person's personality.
I'm divorced, have a horrible history with not only romantic relationships but friendships as well. Until I met Bobina, I seriously thought I was, like Tom in 500 Days of Summer, a doomed victim of every awful woman, jerk guy, and mixed up human being that ever crossed my path. What I learned, especially from the great relationship I have now with the right person, is it's my point of view and approaches to relationships and friendships was so poorly skewed, I was the problem, not everyone else.
500 Days of Summer bounces back and forth between different days in the tale. On the surface, it appears Tom is this normal guy, victimized by the oddball ice queen, Summer, who doesn't care for Tom like she should. When things go south for Tom and Summer, it's Tom who devolves into funny, but sad depressive behavior of booze, junk food, and emo music. The subsequent turn of events shows Tom, as Summer moves on more maturely, that he idealized Summer. This a mistake so many guys make (and some women, I'm sure).
The idea that anything is perfect, great, amazing or the best is foolish. As much I love my wife and kids, it's their complexity that makes them interesting. Their flaws, like mine, are what should be celebrated not ignored. Unfortunately so many people, especially when they are in the throes of lust or smit or the delusions of being in love they paint the other as perfect. This never works. This idea extends to friendships. The minute you think your friend is beyond reproach, they'll disappoint you and you aren't just broken hearted but disillusioned too.
This happens to Tom. He sees Summer as the perfect woman, which reduces her uniqueness and makes her a stereotype as opposed to a real woman. Both characters are in their early 20s and this is common at that age. Suddenly everything turns into a phase for Tom and Summer as opposed to a relationship. How he gets out of the funk is funny, interesting, and worth every minute on a plane.
I am so fortunate to be in my marriage to Bobina. The best thing we do together is communicate. I see through my friends, especially the younger ones, their trumpet of only the positive aspects of their relationships. This is parallel to the ideas expressed in my Facebook post a couple of days ago. We get too impatient, too selfish, wanting our emotional gratification right now. If there is one thing I can export from my relationships with my wife and kids to any of you, is patience and selflessness are the bread and butter of happiness. Learn to rock those, right now, or you will be like Tom in 500 Days of Summer.
Today's song is one featured in 500 Days of Summer. Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths. It's played twice, at two very different places in the film. I recommend the movie, because of it;s unqiue point of view, smart script and the likely idea that after seeing what happens to Tom and Summer, you'll change the way you get along with your significant others, romantic relationships and friendships. Plus, it's The Smiths. Maybe my "good friend", Smiths guitar player Johnny Marr will check this blog post out. Now, that I think about it, when I'm not working on my marriage to Bobina, I need to work on my "friendship" with Johnny.
P.S. I owe the inspiration, partly. for this post, to Leah aka @WalmartGourmet. She was watching 500 Days of Summer. That reminded me of my airplane flight.
Friday, February 4, 2011
A Bet To Regret
"A bet's a bet," Myra told Marley. With a mischievious grin followed by an obnoxious smirk, Myra led her younger sister over to the front door. Marly's eyes began to water. Myra showed no sympathy and pointed to the front yard. Marley offered, "I'll clean our room for a whole week." Myra was enjoying her sister's humiliation too much to listen. Marly found her confidence, dropped her Ariel bathrobe and walked to the mailbox in her underwear. As she came inside, Marly glared at Myra and steely spoke, "I honored the bet, but you better sleep with one eye open."
*blogger's note* - This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 's #100words at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ 's 100 word challenge. This week's one word prompt is HONOR. This may or may not be something that happens at my house between my three daughters. I can tell you this, it wouldn't surprise me with the three of them Myra and Marley definitely sound like two of my kids.
*blogger's note* - This is my entry for @velvetverbosity 's #100words at http://www.velvetverbosity.com/ 's 100 word challenge. This week's one word prompt is HONOR. This may or may not be something that happens at my house between my three daughters. I can tell you this, it wouldn't surprise me with the three of them Myra and Marley definitely sound like two of my kids.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Mr. Zuckerberg and The New Viscious Circle
There's a creeping sickness in this world. It has infected people I know, knew and might meet in the future. It's the breaking of two of Moses' commandments. Mostly, from an anecdotal view, it's people not being good enough because they can't get over high school.
I like the internet. I really like social media. I abhor facebook. What I like about the internet and the social media network is the ability to communicate to people from different walks of life. This article, based on a Stanford University study, is mind numbingly frustrating.
http://www.nationalpost.com/todays-paper/Facebook+makes/4200213/story.html
The article, while interesting and well written, is quite heavy. You are reading my blog for quick information and some pithy commentary. Long story short, is the headline of the piece Why Facebook Makes Us Sad. Really? A website, albeit, a multibillion dollar one made even more popular by an academy award nominated film (please, Lord, do not let it win), makes people sad? According to people smarter than me and a few of you, it sure does. In my experience Facebook also makes people covetous, mean, paranoid, bossy, bullying, and crazy.
Everyone, regardless of their high school and or college experiences can relate to the politics of their teenage years. Hormones combined with gossip combined with ill adjusted socializing teenagers not equipped to deal with their emotions make for tough times. The theory, and unfortunately, it is only a theory, is by adulthood, you get over it and become secure in who and what you are. That perfect world doesn't exist.
The article highlights the paradox Facebook creates. People's pages are represented by the positive aspects of their existence. Everyone is chipper, has cute kids, their pictures are nice, and even when there is drama in their life, it's accompanied by a "like" button. There is no "dislike". That's not how the real world works. People don't get to see the ups and downs of every day life of their high school nemesis or college crush. Only the positives. As a result the same envy, jealousy and political trauma that existed 10 to 20 years ago bubbles to the surface like an eye of newt in a witch's brew.
Facebook, in my opinion, also reveals the worst aspect of the human condition; the belief that self worth is calculated through what others have. This is the most disturbing thing. I can't explain how many negative experiences I have had, seen, heard about or just known through negative social media, both myspace and Facebook of people who used it to justify their bad character traits. Listen, is Facebook, all bad? Of course not. I had it from August 2008 (preparing for my 20th high school reunion) til March 2010. I got in touch with several people I genuinely missed, like my childhood friend Barry, who comments this blog and my twitter account. The greed, materialism, Tiger mom attitudes, infidelity, and keeping up way too much with the Joneses was scary.
My wife still has her facebook page. She is a video game aficionado and likes the applications on Facebook for gaming. I appreciate her hobby. I know that some people use Facebook to organize events, enlighten people to causes, and create positive friendships. Unfortunately, as the study in the above article shows, Facebook also makes people emotionally unstable in ways they just never should be.
"Twitter makes me like people I’ve never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life"
Is a quote from the twitter account of @ShaylaMaddox from a few months ago. That was made into a popular blog post here: http://thenextweb.com/2010/10/20/twitter-makes-me-like-people-ive-never-met-and-facebook-makes-me-hate-people-i-know-in-real-life/
I wish I could have created the words above but someone else was a lot more clever and prophetic. I have made every mistake in the book in my internet "career" But I never poked anyone and I never used the word Facebook are a verb. Maybe I'm placing too much credence in the fact that my experience with this blog and my twitter account have been 99 percent positive. I do know this, I graduated high school almost 23 years ago. The only time I felt like I was back there was the year or so I had Facebook.
Bottom lining my point of view; I wish the people I enjoy online and I could hang out once a week and have deep, interesting, fun, involved, intelligent conversations; like a modern version of the Algonguin Roundtable (google Mrs. Parker and the Viscious Circle. The movie is boring.) That can't happen, unless we all moved to Manhattan and started drinking and smoking. Wow, now I wonder if Dorothy Parker were alive today would she follow me on twitter or comment my blog? The infection has set in with me, apparently.
I don't want to be poked, prodded, conjoled, guilt tripped, cliqued, bullied, grouped, told, or made to socialize. I want to communicate. It's why I blog. It's why I tweet. It's why I talk. The creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg was looking to stalk a girl and get over on his frenemies when he html'd his way into 500 million people's lives. I just don't want any part of that.
Today's song is one of my personal favorite. The Crown Prince of sardonic wit, and one of my songwriting idols, Elvis Costello, wrote "What's So Funny About Peace Love And Understanding" about his disconnection from the people he grew up with. He joked that the song made him a lot of new friends in the arts community and pissed off all the old friends he had back home. I wouldn't be surprised if this blog did the same for me.
I like the internet. I really like social media. I abhor facebook. What I like about the internet and the social media network is the ability to communicate to people from different walks of life. This article, based on a Stanford University study, is mind numbingly frustrating.
http://www.nationalpost.com/todays-paper/Facebook+makes/4200213/story.html
The article, while interesting and well written, is quite heavy. You are reading my blog for quick information and some pithy commentary. Long story short, is the headline of the piece Why Facebook Makes Us Sad. Really? A website, albeit, a multibillion dollar one made even more popular by an academy award nominated film (please, Lord, do not let it win), makes people sad? According to people smarter than me and a few of you, it sure does. In my experience Facebook also makes people covetous, mean, paranoid, bossy, bullying, and crazy.
Everyone, regardless of their high school and or college experiences can relate to the politics of their teenage years. Hormones combined with gossip combined with ill adjusted socializing teenagers not equipped to deal with their emotions make for tough times. The theory, and unfortunately, it is only a theory, is by adulthood, you get over it and become secure in who and what you are. That perfect world doesn't exist.
The article highlights the paradox Facebook creates. People's pages are represented by the positive aspects of their existence. Everyone is chipper, has cute kids, their pictures are nice, and even when there is drama in their life, it's accompanied by a "like" button. There is no "dislike". That's not how the real world works. People don't get to see the ups and downs of every day life of their high school nemesis or college crush. Only the positives. As a result the same envy, jealousy and political trauma that existed 10 to 20 years ago bubbles to the surface like an eye of newt in a witch's brew.
Facebook, in my opinion, also reveals the worst aspect of the human condition; the belief that self worth is calculated through what others have. This is the most disturbing thing. I can't explain how many negative experiences I have had, seen, heard about or just known through negative social media, both myspace and Facebook of people who used it to justify their bad character traits. Listen, is Facebook, all bad? Of course not. I had it from August 2008 (preparing for my 20th high school reunion) til March 2010. I got in touch with several people I genuinely missed, like my childhood friend Barry, who comments this blog and my twitter account. The greed, materialism, Tiger mom attitudes, infidelity, and keeping up way too much with the Joneses was scary.
My wife still has her facebook page. She is a video game aficionado and likes the applications on Facebook for gaming. I appreciate her hobby. I know that some people use Facebook to organize events, enlighten people to causes, and create positive friendships. Unfortunately, as the study in the above article shows, Facebook also makes people emotionally unstable in ways they just never should be.
"Twitter makes me like people I’ve never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life"
Is a quote from the twitter account of @ShaylaMaddox from a few months ago. That was made into a popular blog post here: http://thenextweb.com/2010/10/20/twitter-makes-me-like-people-ive-never-met-and-facebook-makes-me-hate-people-i-know-in-real-life/
I wish I could have created the words above but someone else was a lot more clever and prophetic. I have made every mistake in the book in my internet "career" But I never poked anyone and I never used the word Facebook are a verb. Maybe I'm placing too much credence in the fact that my experience with this blog and my twitter account have been 99 percent positive. I do know this, I graduated high school almost 23 years ago. The only time I felt like I was back there was the year or so I had Facebook.
Bottom lining my point of view; I wish the people I enjoy online and I could hang out once a week and have deep, interesting, fun, involved, intelligent conversations; like a modern version of the Algonguin Roundtable (google Mrs. Parker and the Viscious Circle. The movie is boring.) That can't happen, unless we all moved to Manhattan and started drinking and smoking. Wow, now I wonder if Dorothy Parker were alive today would she follow me on twitter or comment my blog? The infection has set in with me, apparently.
I don't want to be poked, prodded, conjoled, guilt tripped, cliqued, bullied, grouped, told, or made to socialize. I want to communicate. It's why I blog. It's why I tweet. It's why I talk. The creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg was looking to stalk a girl and get over on his frenemies when he html'd his way into 500 million people's lives. I just don't want any part of that.
Today's song is one of my personal favorite. The Crown Prince of sardonic wit, and one of my songwriting idols, Elvis Costello, wrote "What's So Funny About Peace Love And Understanding" about his disconnection from the people he grew up with. He joked that the song made him a lot of new friends in the arts community and pissed off all the old friends he had back home. I wouldn't be surprised if this blog did the same for me.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
John Scott Railton and the Fire in Cairo
Cynicism is the philosophy of a loser. I woke this morning expecting today to be insufferable. It is groundhog day and national signing day. That means the two major American events I find pointless and ridiculous would dominate the news and social media. Meteorological rodents in Pennsylvania, New York and Georgia are "predicting" an early spring, while middle aged creeps are telling sports fans who love college football about the lives of 17 and 18 year old boys and where they will sign letters of intent to play. I'd rather quit my job, stay home and watch The View. Not really. Seriously, not really.
As written before, I'm fascinated by the occurrences in Egypt. Yesterday, their dictator, Hosni Mubarak pulled a Lyndon Baines Johnson and announced he wouldn't seek reappointment, I mean reelection. Yet, the country still protests and things have turned ugly. For those who don't care or don't know, Egypt is the lynchpin in the political grenade that is the Middle East. If they stay democratic and thus stable, Israel has less to worry about and so does her more volatile neighbors. The point is, if Egypt can figure their crap out, war is less likely to happen.
I am an avowed fan of twitter. In 140 characters you can say a lot. It's mini-blogging, right. Whatever, the thing is, there are good "voices" on twitter and the best of them all right now is a 27 year old Michigan native who is a grad student at UCLA. Normally, 27 year old grad students are not dudes I would call anything other than lame and worthy of ridicule. Get a job, right. Sarcasm aside, this student is named John Scott Railton and he is a hero. His twitter account is @Jan25voices. he has traveled in Egypt, made some friends and other contacts. He is using the numbers in his phone to get information, decipher it, and tweet it ffor us dumb Americans to get in the know. Here's some more about John: http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/08599204548900 Mubarak, in typical dictator move, turned off Egypt's internet last week. John Scott Railton is Egypt's internet conduit to the world.
Forgive me if I am not as glib as I usual am today. I just don't get into marketed groundhogs and football recruiting weirdos. I do like social media and what it can do when it's used well. I promise, by tomorrow, I'll be back to puns, bad jokes, and sarcastic creamy goodness.
Today's song is obvious. The performance video isn't available. Hosni Mubarak probably banned it. But the since Cairo is burning literally and figuratively. The Cure's 1980 breakthrough song off their first album, Fire in Cairo says a lot.
As written before, I'm fascinated by the occurrences in Egypt. Yesterday, their dictator, Hosni Mubarak pulled a Lyndon Baines Johnson and announced he wouldn't seek reappointment, I mean reelection. Yet, the country still protests and things have turned ugly. For those who don't care or don't know, Egypt is the lynchpin in the political grenade that is the Middle East. If they stay democratic and thus stable, Israel has less to worry about and so does her more volatile neighbors. The point is, if Egypt can figure their crap out, war is less likely to happen.
I am an avowed fan of twitter. In 140 characters you can say a lot. It's mini-blogging, right. Whatever, the thing is, there are good "voices" on twitter and the best of them all right now is a 27 year old Michigan native who is a grad student at UCLA. Normally, 27 year old grad students are not dudes I would call anything other than lame and worthy of ridicule. Get a job, right. Sarcasm aside, this student is named John Scott Railton and he is a hero. His twitter account is @Jan25voices. he has traveled in Egypt, made some friends and other contacts. He is using the numbers in his phone to get information, decipher it, and tweet it ffor us dumb Americans to get in the know. Here's some more about John: http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/08599204548900 Mubarak, in typical dictator move, turned off Egypt's internet last week. John Scott Railton is Egypt's internet conduit to the world.
Forgive me if I am not as glib as I usual am today. I just don't get into marketed groundhogs and football recruiting weirdos. I do like social media and what it can do when it's used well. I promise, by tomorrow, I'll be back to puns, bad jokes, and sarcastic creamy goodness.
Today's song is obvious. The performance video isn't available. Hosni Mubarak probably banned it. But the since Cairo is burning literally and figuratively. The Cure's 1980 breakthrough song off their first album, Fire in Cairo says a lot.
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